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So, you got yourself a new boo thang and are already having separation anxiety from the app that likely brought you together. Wondering when you should delete Tinder? We’re glad you asked. These highly specific scenarios may help you make the decision that’s best for you. That’s what really matters!
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| 1. Approximately 1 Hour After Your Wedding Reception |
| If it’s open bar, eight hours so you can delete the app with a clear head. |
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| 2. When You’ve Got All Her Passwords |
| Exchanging phone codes is one thing, but that Netflix login is sacred: Allowing you to mess with her to-watchlist means she’s given you the password to her soul. |
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| 3. During Any Apocalyptic Scenario |
| Although, if the internet survives an apocalypse, swiping will come in handy. |
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| 4. When She Endures Rush Hour Traffic For You |
| LAX, JFK, Heathrow, or DXB, an offer to pick you up in rush-hour is an offer to spend eternity together. |
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| 5. When her Last Name Is No Longer Tinder In Your Phone |
| Whoa, are you sure you’re ready for that type of commitment? |
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| 6. If You Join The Witness Protection Program |
| We understand you may want to sign back up with a disguise, but sadly, we have a zero tolerance policy for imposteurs. |
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| 7. In Case Of An Untimely Death |
| Because...we’re just not that kind of side chick. |
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| 8. If You Have TS-19 Or Another Fictional Highly Contagious Disease |
| For obvious reasons, but mainly because you’ll technically be dead if you’re a zombie. See above. |
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SWIPE ON
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