After our "Lights (Out) for Something (Dark)" campaign pivoted from "forcefully cutting power across the globe" to "sending some marketing emails", we found ourselves needlessly staffed with hundreds of armed mercenaries. Considering that they’d signed on for the express purpose of raiding nuclear power plants, it was no surprise that they lacked any skills in email marketing. Needless to say, we had only one option left: creating a fake power plant for them to assault. It wasn't easy getting our hands on enriched uranium, but our fake reactor needed to be as authentic as possible. Upon completion of the new facility, we turned our attention to hiring. Or, as the new recruits might call it, "kidnapping". Once these abducted strangers had been promoted to the rank of Nuclear Scientist, we told the mercenaries to begin the op. While you're bathing in the warm glow of freshly generated electricity, reading this email, just remember: scientists died for this.